That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize