nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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