Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
two words...techno handjob
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
