No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
