You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
