She announced her abortion via fbk
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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