in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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