Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
