I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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