If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
