In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
