Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
