What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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