yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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