he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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