Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
