I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
