i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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