I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
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We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.