this boner is exhausting
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize