We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...