Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?

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  (815): Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction? http://tfl.nu/2awn
  Replies (22) Good night (3644) Bad night (559)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

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  (860): she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner" http://tfl.nu/hbdd
  Replies (38) Good night (5902) Bad night (659)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How are you going to be there by 9am?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Relax I always go to these conferences hung over

  (646): View more from New York

  You say that like it's a positive quality

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  (646): How are you going to be there by 9am? (919): Relax I always go to these conferences hung over (646): You say that like it's a positive quality http://tfl.nu/xfjl
  Replies (12) Good night (5064) Bad night (1167)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.

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  (919): my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now. http://tfl.nu/dua1
  Replies (19) Good night (4344) Bad night (2149)
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  (631): View more from New York

  The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.

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  (631): The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack. http://tfl.nu/734p
  Replies (8) Good night (4263) Bad night (986)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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  (920): I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips http://tfl.nu/g3ng
  Replies (6) Good night (3082) Bad night (1041)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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  (570): I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/dwjv
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (879)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.

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  (417): woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before. http://tfl.nu/td38
  Replies (4) Good night (1549) Bad night (572)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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  (703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17
  Replies (1) Good night (1386) Bad night (500)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.

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  (512): I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW. http://tfl.nu/y0o7
  Replies (4) Good night (1381) Bad night (480)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I feel like a color. Like a wavy color

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  (913): I feel like a color. Like a wavy color http://tfl.nu/hgij
  Replies (5) Good night (1862) Bad night (562)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion

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  (206): So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion http://tfl.nu/7dgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1530) Bad night (738)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story

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  (254): Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story http://tfl.nu/vkqr
  Replies (6) Good night (1245) Bad night (544)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.

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  (801): Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice. http://tfl.nu/sj9z
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (412)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.

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  (778): Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded. http://tfl.nu/lwdx
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (251)

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