I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"