Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night. http://tfl.nu/k8do

Replies (15) Good night (738) Bad night (1830)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper http://tfl.nu/3dw5

Replies (27) Good night (722) Bad night (3942)
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away. http://tfl.nu/uxou

Replies (60) Good night (3606) Bad night (766)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...

(443): View more from Maryland

How'd that go?

(301): View more from Maryland

Hes on his way with a baseball bat...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been... (443): How'd that go? (301): Hes on his way with a baseball bat... http://tfl.nu/x8jv

Replies (14) Good night (936) Bad night (4254)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask http://tfl.nu/pl36

Replies (31) Good night (10108) Bad night (1097)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it. http://tfl.nu/eofg

Replies (11) Good night (1373) Bad night (6337)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes... http://tfl.nu/3so6

Replies (6) Good night (3611) Bad night (1100)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

there's a liquor store near my therapist

(617): View more from Massachusetts

i might give it a shot.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): there's a liquor store near my therapist (617): i might give it a shot. http://tfl.nu/u2kn

Replies (8) Good night (1871) Bad night (759)
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m

Replies (13) Good night (3610) Bad night (1422)
Favorite
(905): View more from Ontario

you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(905): you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed. http://tfl.nu/nsl5

Replies (14) Good night (3918) Bad night (789)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.

(1-802): View more from Vermont

I hope you fall on your chin.

(802): View more from Vermont

Jealousy makes you ugly.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore. (1-802): I hope you fall on your chin. (802): Jealousy makes you ugly. http://tfl.nu/isvw

Replies (14) Good night (3049) Bad night (1277)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/bbnq

Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (702)
Favorite
(504): View more from Louisiana

if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(504): if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell http://tfl.nu/719j

Replies (3) Good night (1637) Bad night (793)
Favorite
(260): View more from Indiana

Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf

Replies (9) Good night (2020) Bad night (608)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands http://tfl.nu/7huz

Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (302)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard