you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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