dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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