im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
