Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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