Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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