i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize