After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize