How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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