I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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