He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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