I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
