We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
