singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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