They should really pass out barf bags in church
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
