So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
