I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
