he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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