I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
