So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
