There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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