you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
