I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
