Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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