where does the pee come out of this thing
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
