You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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