I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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