Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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