There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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