Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
