Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
