When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
false alarm, still single
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
