A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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