From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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