I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
