I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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