I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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